fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
