there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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