i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just had sex bonerless
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
handjob tips. give me some.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night