After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
