Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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  (212): K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep http://tfl.nu/ltsv
  Replies (6) Good night (1008) Bad night (1536)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

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  (503): two words: eviction party http://tfl.nu/l75h
  Replies (28) Good night (6269) Bad night (1086)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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  (225): walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans. http://tfl.nu/3s10
  Replies (24) Good night (5235) Bad night (871)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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  (434): At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still http://tfl.nu/1pcd
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (3020)
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  (415): View more from California

  i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.

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  (415): i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me. http://tfl.nu/4nn8
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (3025)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood

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  (617): False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood http://tfl.nu/hdoi
  Replies (5) Good night (2972) Bad night (1051)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2182) Bad night (1840)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.

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  (225): Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u. http://tfl.nu/ux68
  Replies (17) Good night (1154) Bad night (2726)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.

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  (806): Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes. http://tfl.nu/kfeu
  Replies (3) Good night (1422) Bad night (581)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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  (613): Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo http://tfl.nu/26vh
  Replies (10) Good night (2061) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1097) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.

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  (812): Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible. http://tfl.nu/givh
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out

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  (510): A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out http://tfl.nu/sxee
  Replies (3) Good night (1655) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

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  (952): I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/xtqf
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.

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  (603): I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time. http://tfl.nu/2k9l
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (339)

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