do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.