I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
