Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(