I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
