she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
