I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're like the curious george of whores
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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