Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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