it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
