his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
At least life still wants to fuck me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
