you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
