sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
false alarm. still invincible.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
