I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
