i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize