I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
