Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
