Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
