About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
