First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
