i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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