My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
