umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
