If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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