is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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