One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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