I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
