Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
