Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
