Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
