i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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