How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.