My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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