Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
