I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
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Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The uberlube is also flammable
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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