I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
