I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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