Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
