C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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