i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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