He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
