just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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