things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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