I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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