Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
