Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
