What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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