i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So here I am, sexting at work.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
