trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize