dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
