don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
