He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize