maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
