we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
