We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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