I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
