Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
