hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
