Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
