Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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