Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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