My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
