she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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We just shotgunned beers for America
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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