He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
