My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
