I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
