Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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